The Pope and Babies

The Pope made [Catholic Circle] headlines recently because of his off the cuff remarks on parenthood. While many clickbait headlines mention “selfish,” I did not hear that exact word in his delivery nor did I hear it translated. Even the several articles who claim such things somehow forgot to include that direct quote anywhere in their writing.

What I did hear was the Pope very adamantly pushing for parenthood and highlighting adoption as opposed to the usual “get married, have all the babies” talk you usually hear from the Church (like at our wedding, oh my GOD we get it… please stop talking about s3x in front of our families, many of whom just met, k thanks. You had to be there. It was super uncomfortable and he just kept going, much like this sentence).

While I’m curious to hear him extrapolate on how one lacks in their humanity if they do not become parents, I am very pro-adoption and hope to be able to do it myself one day. He said, “[Parenthood] offers the fullness of the human person and the role to be had in raising children.” It sounds like he’s saying achievement unlocked in the humanity game when you become a parent, more than something is taken away from you if you don’t.

He briefly discusses the practical impact on society and even economies without more literal human beings BUT this is where he asks us to “keep in mind the possibility of adoption” and even calls on the systems and procedures to be enhanced so “those children who dream of a family” can have one more readily. I thought it overall a beautiful sentiment and a clearer understanding of enriching our humanity through the connection and responsibility to another human being.

However, I did find the off-script or off the cuff remarks about people not wanting children to be over-generalized and unnecessary to his points. He obviously speaks directly to those practicing the Catholic faith, otherwise all of this would be silly, so in your own processing of his comments, try to keep that in mind. Even in speaking to Catholics who “don’t wish to have children,” his brief statements still miss a huge personal mark for me: namely the “why” behind any one couple’s decision.

From trauma that needs support, to finances or other socio-economic uncertainty, to none of our business, most couples I know who have made this choice did not do so easily or quickly. I know he didn’t say that, but I can see how someone who is sensitive to the topic might feel put off, especially women, who are constantly being barraged with what to do with their bodies. Any “on the fence” Catholic could read this harshly instead of a sympathetic call to reconsider other options and I see and hear that fully. My heart aches to think of it because it is neither an easy call nor one without suffering as someone who has tried and lost. Encompassing that pain and trauma under the umbrella of “a risk” felt unfortunate at best.

I want to mention, I don’t read his words to mean you are contra-Catholic or against the faith when you choose this, as some more radical Facebook group posts have suggested or flat out said. I do however read his usual encouraging tone to consider what could enhance your life AND the life of another person (the adoption angle). That point resonated a lot with me as the term “pro-life” in this country (USA) has shifted to pro-birth politics and ignored the dignity of those already here. Whenever I listen to him I have to remind myself that he speaks to a global audience.

While it’s all to easy to fall into the self-centered bubble of living in the United states, being Catholic here is vastly different from being Catholic somewhere else in the world. That doesn’t mean take what applies and leave the rest. It means consider the underlying thread of what makes us who we are and what we should really hear from this message in THIS country: a call to compassion and opening our doors to those who are waiting for a loving family, especially since as a nation we aren’t lacking in resources to provide one.

The only “selfish” thing I see that these headlines miss is how we are the third largest producer of food, and overall eight richest country in the world can have 400,000 children in foster care with nearly 11 million children living below the poverty line. That’s roughly 1 in 7 children.

Catholics of America… perhaps pause on procreating like rabbits and consider using your blessings for a child already on this earth. Or do both! If my math is correct, with the population of the USA at 329.5 million, and of the 65% who declared themselves as Christian in 2019, 20% identified as Catholic… does that mean in the USA roughly 42.8 million households identify as Catholic, so a bit more than the population of California. If each Catholic family took in one child from foster care, wouldn’t that basically empty foster care? This just turned into the start of a new post. Stay tuned!

^{Photo credit: Pope Francis at the Vatican on Wednesday. Credit…Angelo Carconi/EPA, via Shutterstock}