Top Three Thursday – Airplanes

We have made it a point to do whatever we can to travel somewhere at least once a year, which is great! However, as the hubby would say, I “can find the cloud in any silver lining.” (Thanks babe). Well, although I try to be a positive person, some shared awful experiences make for great comedy and bonding. So let’s see which of these top 3 airport/airplane horror stories you can relate to!

Honorable mention: UNCHARGED DEVICES + SLEEPLESSNESS
I have a terrible time sleeping on flights, I may have to resort to taking some aid next time because my ability to entertain myself on a plane is dwindling in the world of technological dependency. Talk about 1^st world problems, but we were promised a charging station of at least the usb variety on a 9+ hour flight, and alas, nada. There was a 4×4 screen with plenty of new releases but when you forgot to charge your kindle (guilty), or you want to type up a little blurb, you better make it quick! Not that you could hear the movies anyway over the engines. Now, I normally bring a “real people book,” but since I’m in my husband’s created 52 challenge, I’m sort of between books right now. It’s not them… it’s me.

#3: WAAAAALK!

This one reminds me of my mother (always a fabulous start). I am a tall woman luckily married to a taller man so he understands me when I say I have a long stride. I do not walk particularly fast but my steps are larger moving forward so it appears that way to my 5’3 mother who would get mad at me for making her double step to keep up (should have taken fast stealth mama). I understand it’s an airport and people get lost or confused or [my favorite] decide to stop abruptly in the middle of a high traffic area… ok. No. I actually do not understand that. Moral of story is: I’m in no hurry but having to constantly “tap my brakes” behind oblivious meandering in high traffic areas ruins my stride. There’s enough space to make this work like traffic… slow on the right, quick on the left. The most egregious offense is the slow walker on the left. C’MON PEOPLE! You have a side, use it.

2: Price for Luxury or Human Dignity

We work hard for our money but I can’t afford a freaking extra $400 -$5,000 (no joke) per person to get proper legroom for someone over 5’4. I’m usually not fussy about economy seating because I can fall asleep with some extra melatonin and I normally use the aisle seat when available (and Southwest has spoiled me, letting me choose my own seat) but hot damn this was awful! I’ve flown many different airlines and I can say that for the most part these super huge name-brand carriers are storage compartments not made for proper human travel. Seriously! A sardine would look at this arrangement with disapproval! I walked by the first level of ridiculousness where they have fully reclining beds that massage the legs, down comforters, and pillows (and so much more, but I’m disgusted so I’ll stop). The medium level, which was still hundreds of dollars more than economy, boasts an extra 5 inches of legroom! Whoa golly! A teacher only needs to work an entire month without bills, rent, or food, to afford the upgrade ONE WAY! Honestly, I am lucky that I have a travel partner too because sitting that close to anyone else would have to involve buying me dinner first.

1:  Non-stop screaming child way too old to be doing it!

NINE. HOUR. FLIGHT. NINE! (.5). Let me preface by saying I have an uncanny patience for children (less so with adults, but that’s a different post). This may ruffle some feathers but I don’t even mind babies crying on a plane. They’re freaking babies. They cry. It sucks. It’s inconvenient. It’s loud but I always put myself in the mortified position of the parent and sympathize. THIS situation, ladies and gents, was a 6+ year old STANDING on his seat despite multiple and stern reminders by the flight attendants to have him sit with his seatbelt fastened. He was yelling. Straight up laughing and yelling and talking for NINE HOURS. Did I mention this was a red-eye flight? So while I’m 19 rows behind him (I counted because after a point I was just impressed that his voice would carry the way it did) I would be abruptly woken from my dreadfully uncomfortable sleep by him yelling and laughing. Has this parent never heard of an inside voice? The passengers near her even brought it up to her around hour 6… she did nothing, said nothing, and continued to let her child stand on the seat, yell, and jump. The attendants were even frustrated and brought up safety as a way to keep him seated. NOPE. She clearly has had years to practice tuning him out. We only had 9 hours. Ironically, he was silent at baggage claim. I’ll tell you something you may already know… but one LOOK from my mother, especially at that age, and I’d be a freaking ANGEL for however many hours I had to sit next to her. Step it up lady. Our REM cycles thank you.