Top Three Thursday – 1 Perspective

The hubby told me he finally got fed up with the campaign coverage. It’s become apparent that at this point the likelihood of changing someone’s mind is slim to impossible. I’ve recently “lost friends” due to this campaign season, which has honestly NEVER happened before, and I have friends whose opinions differ from mine far more drastically. Anyway. I want today’s top three to resonate with you all and I hope to receive some thoughtful responses. Let’s learn from one another. Instead of your “opinions,” I want to know the background that forms them. I want to know, what has happened in your life, what have you WITNESSED that leads you to your current opinions. I’ll start:

Top Three Ways to See It My Way.

3) I AM LATINA. I’ve been called a spic (which I think sounds ridiculous when you say it because it doesn’t even sound like a real word… spic? spick? Espiga? I don’t know), a wetback (which YOU are every time you shower [I made that joke for the first time in 7^th grade, fyi]), an anchor baby, (my mother didn’t come here to steal your job), “not quite white,” (as in there’s something ‘off’ about me), and “not really Hispanic.” I had a police officer block my window from rolling up only to stick his head in and tell me “I have more experience with Latina women than you think.” I was told, at my university, “shouldn’t you have 3 babies by now?” Thanks to the calm of my friend, I didn’t rip than man’s ego to shreds. Not my proudest moment but still reflective of the idiocy that surrounds racial relations in this country.  I had another guy, same university, tell me to “Shut up, or callate, whatever it is you people understand.”

Rewind: The summer before enrolling in fourth grade I saw the matriculation papers on the dining room table. I knew my dad had filled them out because he always wrote in small capital letters. In the “Check Ethnicity” box I noticed he had checked “Caucasian.”  I remember taking the pen, scratching it out, and checking “Latino/Hispanic” instead without telling anyone. Later that evening I overheard my dad mildly accuse my mother of doing it and asking why? She confidently said she hadn’t done it and that was the end of it. I was determined to somehow educate the world that I AM and I LOOK Latina without submitting to offensive stereotypes and molds of the ignorant.

How does this all formulate my opinions today? Well, I embrace the facts that Latinos look like EVERYONE and can be ANYONE. I embrace and teach my kids to love the traits they didn’t chose that make them who they are. Cultural identity is simply a building block to my individuality; it is a gift and yet I am more. I find it difficult to accept a point of view from someone who has never been insulted, discriminated against, or judged harsher because of their skin, dark or light. Telling me I’m “one of the good ones,” IS insulting. Your surprise to my reaction reaffirms my desire for cultural equity. I get “fired up” about injustice against minorities because I have a heart for those who are belittled, mistreated, and underestimated, not because I have a “Latin fire.” Without experiencing this, you have no right to dictate to the masses what “we” are all about. Instead, stick to what you know: Being who you are, not presuming who I am or am capable of.

2) I AM FEMALE.  I grew up with an older brother who I looked up to immensely. Anything he could do, I wanted to do. He played with action figures, I put them on my Christmas list so I could play too. He played football outside with his friends, I learned how to throw a mean spiral. He’s seven years older than me, so in my mind, I had a lot of catching up to do, so I payed attention and changed that tire, replaced that car battery, grilled to perfection, called people out when something was “messed up,” read comic books, and rooted for the Pittsburg Steelers all while in heels and epic lipstick. Do any of these things make me “manly” or less feminine? Do these things emasculate you? Well I’ve had plenty of guys, and some females too, try to put me in my place.

I’ve been told to “Shut up and let the man speak.” I’ve been followed home multiple times. I’ve been corned by a man in a Best Buy and told he “would like to put [me] in a box and take [me] home with [him],” (I was 14), I’ve been called a slut because I could engage in conversation with men about anything I darn-well pleased (To quote a girl in my common room, “how else could she have gotten their attention?”) I’ve been called a “prude” when I rejected a man’s advances and a “bitch” when I continued to walk away. I’ve been told how I’m “not like other girls” in a tone of compliment and disdain. I’ve been told it wasn’t fair I had entered a friend circle so comfortably without having yet “paid my dues.” I have been told how my confidence has both rattled and impressed men in the workplace and I find both offensive.

How does this all formulate my opinions today? I openly admonish rape culture. I believe your initial reaction is what you were conditioned to think/believe and your second is your true opinion and as such men and women need to be more conscientious about flinging their first judgment out loud until you have evolved your mindset. Any limitation I have is mine and mine alone and not to do with my gender. I have seen the fragility of masculinity and your discomfort toward female ambition and success should not be our problem or used against us in any way. Believe it or not, you can acknowledge a woman for her accomplishments, without mentioning her appearance or connection to a man.

1) EDUCATION IS LIBERATION. I am a very hard worker. I am also a go-getter. I loathe a world where I must work twice as hard to be taken half as seriously as a man but to be 100% honest, I NEVER had to think about it until my ridiculous university experience. My mom worked harder than any person I have ever met, she took no excuses and gave none. She cleaned houses, took care of children, and raised a small business venture to a trustworthy company. She is highly educated, loves opera, art history and literature and wouldn’t let you go out until you vacuumed the carpet with perfectly aligned triangles (damn 80’s high pile!). She told me one day, randomly, “No one can take away your education. [They] can take your home, your clothes, but no one can take away your mind, and with that, you will always have something to eat and somewhere to live.” It gets me, every time. I was one of two students in my middle school who got accepted into my dream high school. I was then considered for a scholarship specific to high achieving students from low-income backgrounds. I recall not being nervous when my mom asked. I recall chatting with the other girls in the waiting room and wondering “perhaps I should be more reserved.” It was supposed to be an interview but it turned into a conversation that ran half an hour over time. We were laughing and joking, talking about current events and Mr. Lallinger (may he rest in peace) told me, “You’re the kind of person who’s going to change things.” God sir, I hope you’re right. I won the scholarship to the best education I have ever received short of my mother.

How does this all formulate my opinions today? I think education is prejudicially unavailable to the detriment of all society. I may have had many blessings others did not, but I am not a special case, I was simply trusted to thrive in a competitive environment and did, as much research shows a child does.

What is something I need to know about you to help me “see it your way?”

Feel free to comment below, ask questions of one another, arrange a coffee date! Thanks in advance for your commentary and discourse.